Children’s Experience with Divorce: What I Needed but Never Said

When we talk about divorce, we often talk about custody schedules, legal agreements, co-parenting strategies, and timelines. What we don’t talk about enough is the child's experience with divorce. As someone who lived through it at 14, I know firsthand what gets overlooked.

It felt like it happened overnight. One day, life looked a certain way—and the next, it was all different. There was no lead-up, no family meeting to process together. My dad moved into a strange apartment, and I helped him clean it. I didn’t like it there, but I kept showing up because I thought I should. Not for me—for him.

That’s what children do in divorce. They abandon their own needs to protect the people they love.

My was completely heartbroken and emotionally reactive. It felt impossible to ask questions or get advice. My siblings shifted into survival mode, each of us silently figuring out how to cope. The family unit we once knew fractured in ways we never fully mended. Even now, decades later, my parents haven’t spoken. My mom remains full of hurt; my dad found happiness elsewhere. And I was left in the middle, growing up faster than I should have, sorting through the emotional fallout alone.

The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children

Children's experience with divorce can shape everything—from their relationships to their sense of stability and emotional safety. When kids don’t feel seen, when their emotions go unacknowledged, they internalize the chaos. They might act out. They might shut down. And in most cases, they carry those wounds far into adulthood.

That’s part of why I do what I do now.

My agency, Premier Nanny Network, doesn’t just match families with childcare. We create support systems. We provide consistency, emotional bandwidth, and a sense of normalcy for kids whose homes may feel unpredictable.

How a Nanny Can Fill the Gaps

When parents are emotionally tapped out—dealing with lawyers, finances, new living situations, or even their own healing journey—it’s nearly impossible to show up every day with patience, softness, and energy. That’s where having an extra layer of support makes all the difference.

A professional nanny doesn’t just keep your children safe. The right nanny brings structure, warmth, and a reliable presence that can ease the emotional turbulence kids often feel during and after a divorce. Guiding you through your children's experience with divorce, every step of the way.

At Premier Nanny Network, we understand how children's experience with divorce isn't learned just through training, but through lived experience. We know how vital it is for kids to have someone who shows up, listens, and stays steady no matter what.

What I Wish More Parents Knew

Children don’t always say what they need. But they feel everything.

They sense when things are off. They carry guilt, even when it's not theirs to hold. They fantasize about their parents getting back together and blame themselves when it doesn’t happen. They try to make everyone smile. They push down their pain so they don’t make things harder.

What would have helped me? A trusted adult who wasn’t caught up in the chaos. Someone who noticed when I was quiet. Someone who asked the right questions. Someone consistent.

Hiring a nanny isn’t about replacing a parent. It’s about making sure your children have what they need when you're pulled in too many directions. It’s about preserving their innocence, even when life feels anything but fair.

If you're navigating divorce and wondering how to protect your child's heart through it all, Premier Nanny Network is here to help. Contact us today to create more happiness in your children's lives.